So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sorry about my life...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
