were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
