its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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