Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is wine microwaveable?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize