yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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