Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She told me I should be a condom model.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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