I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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