i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize