So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize