I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
