Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
