I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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