Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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