When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
