I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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