It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
