I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
