Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
