There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
