I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
