I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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