ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
