i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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