Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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