who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wat bout pragnant strippers??
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Terrible idea I love it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
