That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
