she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
