so explain again why im purple
no
its not stalking. its research.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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