I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i think my cat just said my name.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
