I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize