I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
