She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
