We won't sleep together?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
