You're completely useless in the revolution.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize