I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i now understand why vodka
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
