Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize