If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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