man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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