he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
