lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
