I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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