She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize