"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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