Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
