Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Come share oat with me in your robe
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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