It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
