at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
