I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize