Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize