He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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