like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm at about main and main street
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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