His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
