Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
