I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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