i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
that is very illegal...i love you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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