is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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