i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
