can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is wine microwaveable?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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