that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
