i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is it penis luge time yet?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
