It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
