don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
