I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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