the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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