In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
