we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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