you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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