We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
