what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
