what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
