I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
