Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize