I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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