I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
