You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
