can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
