You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
